Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I AM SOOOOO EXCITED!!!!  I have 5 (yes count em 5) lovely ladies who have comitted to follow my ramblings.  I am so honored.  Thank you thank you thank you lovely ladies!
I hope you enjoy my ramblings.  I have posted my first two patterns but I do not have a photo of the change purse because I gave it away before I remembered to photo it. 
And that, dear readers, is because I suffer from SFB Syndrome.  My husband suffers from this the most.  As a matter of fact, the poor man is quite afflicted with the disease. As far as I know there is no known cure for it.  I only have infrequent and sporadic attacks and they only come on when I am extremely tired.  He, poor man, has them 24 hours a day. And I do try to overlook the attacks and just mentally chastise him and not verbally let on that I know that they are occurring.  Now that I have gotten you all worried and feeling sorry for the poor man, I guess I will have to tell you what SFB syndrome actually is. goes.......... it is S_ _ t for brains syndrome!!  And to say the least he also suffers from recular octosis.  This is an affliction that affects men only.  He has it and my beloved Daddy also had a very bad case of it.  In simple terms it means his eyes are up his ..........(you know where)!!  Now my mother would diagnose this several times a day with my dad.  Example:  My dad would be looking for something to eat in the refrigerator. He would yell out "Bet - where is the genoa salami?"  My mother would reply "Its in the fridge"  and my dad would go to the fridge, open the door, peer in with his eyes closed and say "where?? I dont see it - come in here and find the damn thing for me".  And my little Italian mother who is 5 feet tall and 3 feet wide would answer in a sweet shrilling voice
 "If it was up your ass you would know where it was"  "Open your eyes and look"!!!  And my handsome Italian father who was 6 feet tall and all brawny muscle would open his eyes and look but keep his mouth shut.  My mother may have been little but she was mighty and a darn good diagnostician.  My husband does the exact same thing but I do not have to answer like my mother (after all, I am NOT my mother).  I simply reply "well honey, if  you cant find it then we must be out"  trying hard to swallow my laugh!  Ok well now where was I??? Oh yes, we were talking about my 5 followers.  Now ladies, as you can see, I am easily distracted off the beaten path so to speak.  Are you sure you still want to be my followers???  Well bless your hearts! thats all I can say.  And I do not have a photo of the decorated Christmas tree because I have not yet decorated it.  And How do I know that it is so cute with decorations?  Well, I have one made and stored with my Christmas decorations and if you think that I am going to go and riffle thru my 59 boxes of Christmas decorations to find it and its not even thanksgiving yet well all I can say to that is guess again!!  So dear readers, you will just have to wait till I get a round tuit. But I promise that the waiting will be worth it.

I am planning on telling you lots of stories from my Italian family and I hope that you will enjoy them.  Boy do I have some hysterical relatives.  Just their names will crack you up.  On my mothers side she has 5 sisters.  Each one has a special nick name.  The first is Julia.  She is the oldest. I think she is adopted because out of all my family SHE is the only one that has remained skinny all her life.  It just can not be our genes!  Impossible!
And besides we all hate her because she is skinny. But her nick name is Coogie.  Where in Gods name did that name come from??? I haven't got a clue.  We call her Coog or the coog for short.  She is kind of kookie - has the energy of a barking chiwawa dog!  Runs around in circles barking her head off.  The second aunt is Edith.  She was a very sweet and quiet lady.  We called her Deedee.  Not such a strange name.  She was the first girl to cross over.  My third aunt is Dora.  She is the prettiest of all the girls.  And the biggest pain in the butt.  We call her Dodo - you know - like the dodo bird.  She really lived up to her name.  My fourth aunt is Rita.  She is the youngest and the coolest.  She is the only one to have more than 2 kids.  She had four.  She is the only one in the family to have a formal education.  She went to college and became a teacher.  Then she and her family packed up and moved to Florida.  The only normal one and she up and moves to Florida.  Like a rat deserting a sinking ship!  And the only one that didnt marry an Italian.  We call her Tootsie or Toot for short.  My fifth aunt I saved for last.  Her name was America pronounced am-er-i-ca!  Her middle name was Gaetanina (which is Georgina).  She is my very favorite.  She earned a place in the family hall of fame.  She would come over my house after work every week to have tea with me.  And she would proceed to tell me all the family dirt.  And boy, could she tell it.  She left nothing to the imagination.  And I never recorded it or wrote it down.  Boy, all the people I could have blackmailed!!  She was the queen of dishing dirt.  A female Jerry Springer and funny too!  I adored her and was heart broken when she crossed over from breast cancer.  She made the best damned meatballs and sauce in the entire universe.  And I hope my meatballs and sauce do her proud!  Oh yea, we called her Popie.  She got that name because one time she had a hat that looked like the Pope's hat.  So someone said "hey look! she has the pope's hat on"
and they started to call her the pope.  So popie just came naturally.  And then there is my mother.  Her real name is Elena Livia.  But when she started school the teacher called her Helen.  So Helen it was.  BUT - my aunt tootsie would call her by some slang italian name pronounced cee-a-nail.  Only God knows how it really is spelled!  I don't even know what it means.  So from that name it was shortened to "the nail"  or just plain "nail" and thats what they call her to this day.  Of course I call her ma!  Well that's it dear readers.  That's all I have for today.  Thanks be to God.  Go - the blog has ended!  Until next time...Peace and Joy!