Thursday, December 24, 2009

COUNTING DOWN THE HOURS UNTIL CHRISTMAS

HELLO TO ALL MY DEAR READERS! MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! Now that said, just give me a bed and let me die in peace! I am exhausted! I get this way every year. Why? you ask? Because I am a nut case! I HAVE to do this and I HAVE to do that. It must be done today or it cannot wait until tomorrow. I HAVE to find that last little gift. I CAN'T SAY NO! I have nophobia. I am unable to say no to anything when it comes to my family. I can do it. It won't take long. Are these words familiar to you? Do you suffer from the same disease? Are you overcome with feelings of guilt if you don't do it? Will the world come to a flaming end if it doesn't get done? Will hell freeze over. Does a chicken have lips? Was the pope polish? Does a bear poop in the woods? The answer is YES YES YES YES YES AND YES!!!! I can't stop. I must do it. It has to get done! I am crazy, just all out blooming crazy! You think I would learn my lesson. But NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not me. Every year it is the same thing. Total exhaustion and it's my own fault! Now take today for example. My daughter wants a leopard or zebra snuggie. You know those things they advertise on tv - the blanket with arms. Cute little idea. Last week I saw a bajillion of them in every store I went to. Did I buy it??? Nooooooooooo, of course not! Oh, they will have them everywhere. Well guess what? Those stupid little blanket things that are destined to make their creator a bloody millionaire are completely sold out! Just like the Cabbage Patch dolls of the 70's and 80's. My husband and I went to 8 different stores today. Yep, that's right. This idiot went to 8 different stores in search of the elusive snuggie. One store had 5 kids sizes and one had 3 dog snuggies (how the hell do you put a snuggie on a dog?). But not one stinking snuggie for adults. Not a one. Everywhere you go the damn things are sold out. There is going to be a whole bunch of people with snuggies whether or not they wanted one. They are definitely going to be gifted with a snuggie. But guess what? MY DAUGHTER IS NOT GOING TO BE ONE OF THEM CAUSE I CAN'T FIND A SNUGGIE ANYWHERE!!! Am I having a nervous breakdown over it??? You betcha I am. In the words of Fred Sanford - "get ready Elizabeth - I'm coming - this is the big one). Will she get over this? Of course not. She wanted a snuggie for Christmas and the princess of more than enough will not be getting a snuggie this year! Will she pout for the rest of the day? You betcha she will! And I guarantee you that she will never let me forget it either! Here comes another 3 years of therapy for me! I can hear it now. We will be gathered together in the future with my 6 grand-kids (that's how many she says she wants) and she will be telling her kids - "Did I ever tell you of the Christmas that I wanted a snuggie and never got one???"........... Now I also had to go to the grocery store to pick up the seafood for tonight's dinner. We are having the usual fish dinner for Christmas eve. Baked stuffed shrimp with seafood stuffing, Scrod, Scallops wrapped in bacon and spaghetti with clam sauce. Oh and fresh green beans and tossed salad and shrimp cocktail. Then for dessert there is pumpkin pie, pecan pie and 32 different varieties of Christmas cookies all hand made by me. Thats right! You did not read it wrong. I made 32 different cookies for Christmas. 28 regular varieties and 4 gluten free kinds for my daughter and nephew. Oh and 2 pies are regular and 2 are gluten- fee. Do you know how many different cookies there are in 32 varieties???? Too damn many. We give cookies to everyone! No one is spared! People line up at my door with their hands out begging for a cookie, just one little cookie. I am famous. So why aren't I rich????? My daughter says the gluten free ones I made are so delicious that I should set up a web site and start selling them. The cost of gluten free baked good are astronomical! Just the mixes alone are 5 to 8 dollars a box. I have come up with my own personal gluten free baking mix and it works well. She thinks that I will be the next Martha Stewart??? Oh and did I mention that I only use 100% pure butter in all my baking? Anything less than real butter should be outlawed when it comes to cookie baking. There are just no substitutes for real butter! Ok dairy men - where is my kickback for that?? And did I mention the nuts? Pecans, almonds, walnuts, hazelnuts! They cost more than 14K gold! And I use tons of them. Pounds and pounds and pounds. If a recipe calls for 1 cup of nuts then I use 2 cups. I like to taste the nuts in my cookies. Yesterday my husband and I were shopping for gifts in our local Kohls. We were in the housewares dept. and there was this cute young man shopping for his wife. He seemed to be in a quandry so I asked him if he needed help. He showed me a list as long as his arm and said "she wants cookie sheets" Sooooooo........I proceeded to educate him on the virtues of cookie sheets and showed him examples of good ones and bad ones and that price was an important factor in choosing a good cookie sheet and that double walled ones will never burn her cookies but if he bought the thin ones then I guaranteed him that his cookies would be black and he would be buying new cookie sheets next year. He responded with tears in his eyes - yea, our sheets are kind of lumpy and twisted. I proudly proclaimed that I was the QUEEN of cookie baking and just last week I made 32 different kinds for Christmas. Then he really started to cry and grabbed my arm begging me to adopt him. I hate to see a grown man cry. But I reassured him that if he bought his wife the right cookie sheets then she too could become a cookie queen or at least a cookie princess and that he would have many years of wedded bliss and eat glorious cookies to boot. He was profusely thanking me and kissing my hand as my husband was dragging me by the arm to the cash registers. He can be soooo touchy at times. And did I tell you that on Monday evening my daughter volunteered to have their work Christmas party at our house? Yes, 25 lovely women to feed and entertain. She told them to BYOB but failed to tell them to bring food! Oh no, not necessary - my Mom is a great cook and will make stuff! And of course, Supermom did just that! There was enough food for 50 lovely ladies to eat and plenty of leftovers. I have to admit, the compliments were wonderful. Nothing like being told that your food is great! Makes it all worth while. I felt that I owed it to my daughter to have a great party. After all, she has not been able to entertain for the last 3 1/2 years while my niece was living in my living room with her two kids. Last year we did'nt even have a tree cause the only place for one was to hang it from the ceiling. So this year we have 6 Christmas trees. One big one and 5 small ones of various sizes and decor. You might say that we are making up for lost time. And I guess we are. I even managed to get in a little crocheting during all this work. I finished a dishcloth for my January partner in a dishcloth exchange and finished a scarf for my niece Francesca. Never did finish the afghan for Danielle. She might think it was a substitute for that damn snuggie!!! Oh well, Valentine's Day is coming. And I heard her exclaim as she drove out of sight, Merry Christmas to all and does anyone want a cookie??? Please??? Peace and Joy to you all. Hugs, Annette

No comments:

Post a Comment